This Me

IMG-1871-1 A Storm Builds (Sedona, December 27 2018)

I want to again hear my name called out
From the depths of Hell
To be again summoned to fights demons
I want to again smell their deaths

I want to again cry tears of blood
And feel lightening tearing through my viscera
As it renders me a charred heap

I want to again feel the sound of bones cracking
As steel stone and fist peel my flesh away
Tearing apart my organs

I want to again stand naked in the blizzard
And watch my skin turn purple and black
Against the white-out enveloping me

I want to again hear my throat scream words
No one else hears in the hell that consumes and decimates
As I am again crushed in humiliating defeat
And reduced to grains of sand blown
By the winds
That had once been confined deep within this me

I want to again rage up against the ferocious storms
That flood the valleys and level the mountains
And gives desperation and despair new meaning
Dismembering me as I fight will all my fury
To stop the tidal waves and rebuild the mountains

Soon I will go into that evil night
With sword and wits sharpened
Ready to spill blood and sip wine
In the name of love and self-loathing
Of never feeling good enough for this or that
Until after being put beyond the harshest test
And again emerging miraculously intact

How I await the darkness to wage incessant war
On all my remaining haunting fears
Each moment my serenity my rage building
Forging additional weapons for deployment
As my evolution continues

Copyright © 2018 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Into The Storm (Sedona, 2018)

One response

  1. What an outlet you have created! I’d love to tell you my story sometime about my soul agreement and what it truly meant for me. It took its toll on me, physically and on a deep level. But alas, I’m not a writer as talented as you are to write this down. It would only be understood by some as truth. To others, it would be too much to assimilate. I am at peace with my role, and that is what matters most… Cindi

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