That Moment (When Love Finds You)

Moon, Roof, Spa 5 5 2020

Gotcha’, didn’t it?
Just when you thought all men were bastards
All women were petty bitches and c-words
And no one would really care for you

It found you deep within your trauma/self-pity/shame/depression
Buried so deep that your sun never shined there

Blew it all apart and made you so alive
Then every molecule of your night turned to our sun
Flowing through all those dead parts
From walking dead to walking love

Now we know that love is all that is
Everything seen through that rose lens
Forever tomorrows never ending
Happily so far beyond ever after

 

Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Moon, Roof, Spa (April, 2020)

Hero (No More)

Sunset 5 1 2020

So much wanting all the right words
Knowing the right times to say them
Being The Teacher
The Father
The Guru

Knowing how to cheer the discouraged
Heal the wounded
Love the unloved

So badly I wanting
To be and never not to be
Everything to anyone
Being or feeling less than
Who I saw
Who I felt
In their possible futures
Traumatic pasts
And turbulent here and nows

Fool was I
Casting myself supine before them
Like pearls tossed before swine
So they may crush me with thick teeth
And betray me for ego’s ego sake

Fuck (oh, fuck)
Longing to make their hells
Into heavens
To turn their tears
Into rainbows
Fuck (oh, fuck me now)
So needing praise and admiration I
Instead of love I needed

Hero no more…

Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: The Hero Finds A Sunrise (April, 2020)

Time, R. I. P.

Hot Tub 4 29 30

I’ve been to that quiet place where time died
It crossing so suddenly over
Slipping through my fingers and my soul
Before the blackbird’s song ended

Knew its taste I did
Its passion stirring within me
So much I wanted to own it
Deep within my breast
And make it my new heart
Of endless sunny days
And forever paused sunsets
Such bookends to that wonderful feeling
Of falling so deeply in love

These days are the thousands
Such fires burning, carried deep within
Even as roses I cast upon time’s grave
Crossing so suddenly over
From red to black to dust

Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Hot Tub After Sunset (April, 2020)

Black Mirror

Black Mirror 4 28 2020

You show me
More
When only my energy
Flows
Through you

Black Mirror
I see
What others can’t show
I hear
What others can’t speak
I feel
What others can’t touch

Breath in
Breath out
People are just people
Living
Fallacies way away
From
Me and mine

But I can
Will
Explore them
And
Not mistake them
As
Mine

Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Self-Portrait (April, 2020)

Don’t Test Me (I’m ‘Merican)

ER lady

Telling me

“You ain’t sick enough”

“You ain’t been to China”

“Just self-quarantine”

Was to 8 international airports

In ten days

Spiked a fever

Had trouble breathing

Coughing around the clock

For five straight days

Department of Health Lady

Telling me

“Just monitor your symptoms”

“Go to the E.R. if distressed”

“Drink water, get rest”

Don’t test me

I’m ‘Merician

Got bad insurance

And no friends

In high places

Ain’t no COVID-19

Here or here or here

‘Cause no testing goin’ on

Ain’t nothing to see

We ‘Mericans have nothing

To fear but foreigners

And them their flu

Don’t test me

I’m ‘Merican

I got God on my side

And the world

In my back pocket!

This (Is Not My Crossing Over)

Lungs that ached

another snot-filled head

sleep that ached

as COVID-19

fucked fucked and fuckedw/me

Houston became

hellnight after hellnight

after hacked sputum went

from clear2foamy2angry green

this is not my crossing over

who the fuck

do u think i am2 lie here

on a soaked matress

and have u squeeze life outta me

like some living toothpaste tube

this not the end of my touch

of my fight

of my laughter

even though my ribs ache

and my face looks like death

fuck u and u and u a thousand

times

can u hear my laughter

neath my wheezing?

the sun still warms my face

and tans my naked ass

copyright 2020: all rights reserved.

photo: post-apocalyptic hot tub (Lewisburg, 3/20)

will u b my4ever blue sky

will u b my 4ever blue sky
of endless possibilities
punctuated by wispy clouds
of transient doubt
?

will u hear w/me
ghosts crying nightly
mere memories
not prophesies
?

as 2being1
will u speak truths
only us2 will hear
in our souls
?

will u come& go
with me
neither leader
nor follower
?

will u blossom
as i bloom
wither
as i falter
?

will u b my4ever
sun
my4ever
moon
my4ever
stars
?

“yes,” we said
the Word
resonating
in our4ever
soul
.

copyright, 2020: all rights reserved

photo: my4ever blue sky (January, 2020)

Whose Dream (doUhave)?


yeah, i hear you
talkin about MLK
on your FB post

gotta ask ’cause
gotta know
:
whose dream
(doUhave)?

with white privilege
masking racism
name-calling
whose fear
(ruliving)?

status quo
protects my white ass
keeps me safe
keeps me from asking
scary questions

i fight myself 2c
worlds i never lived
hatreds i never felt
injustice against skin

foolish stupid me
empty rebel rebel
naive and hopeful
when the dream
needs so much more

copyright 2020: all rights reserved

photo: Empty Walkway (PHL, December 2019)