Hollywood Pitch Boy

twenty years of abuse and neglect
of child soldiering
of suicide attempts
all in one memoir

the nice kids ‘cross the table
sit slacked-jaw in shock
wondering aloud
about a movie
about a limited series
romancin’ my intellectual property

shit, what do they know
no one ever put a gun to their heads
no one ever raped them
ain’t never been homeless

just lookin’ for content
searchin’ for the next big thing
that’s not wearin’ a cape
’cause no one can compete
with Marvel
and Netflix is big right now

me?
writer
survivor
psychologist
healing and evolving
even thirty years later

still, i love the game
of being a hollywood pitch boy
of sittin’ with ’em for those wonderful five minutes
when everythin’ is real

from ‘cross our table they make promises that time and circumstances repeatedly erode and disappear
everywhere but in my soul

copyright 2019: all rights reserved
photo: two lights at night (Tioga, PA: November, 2019)

The Apocalyptic Dream Triptych

May 23 2015 165

The Apocalyptic Dream Triptych

A night of dreams
A night of visions
A night of hells
One upon
One upon
One
They seeped
Into
My dream world,
The Apocalyptic Dream Triptych.

Behold the first:
Overhead a helicopter flew
Then
Another
Another
Another;
The air now filled
By
Swarming mechanized gnats
Dodging
Flying
Creating
Aggressive war visuals
That killed in the skies
That killed on the lands
That killed in the waters
Whilst
I, with perfect hair
I, with perfect t-shirt
I, with perfect jeans
Worked on my hot rod
On that summer’s day
And knew killing would take me.

A night of dreams
A night of visions
A night of hells
One upon
One upon
One
They invaded
My dream world,
The Apocalyptic Dream Triptych.
Behold the second:
A great white light erased
Copters, warriors, and car
As
I stood
Watching Earth and Sky
Join in a bright white light
Vaporizing all matter
Like a celestial laser beam
Growing in a lethal ripple
In whiteness hotter than fire.
No flames did burn
As all matter instead vaporized
Into whiteness.
I smiled and waited
For
Devouring light
To consume
Earth,
To consume
Sky,
To consume
Me.

A night of dreams
A night of visions
A night of hells
One upon
One upon
One
They devoured
My dream world,
The Apocalyptic Dream Triptych.

Behold the third:
Whiteness became lush green
From the back
Of the stake truck
I rode in the jungle
With my son
As
A horde of monkeys,
Starving,
Emerged
From everywhere.
“The animals are king,”
I said,
“We are their meals
As we occupy the bottom
Of nature’s food
Chain.”
They feasted on him,
They feasted on the driver,
Leaving room for dessert:
Me.

A night of dreams
A night of visions
A night of hells
One upon
One upon
One
They defined
My dream world,
The Apocalyptic Dream Triptych
Consumed me by aggressive men
Consumed me by celestial disaster
Consumed me by ravenous animals:
Yet,
My serenity remained unshaken;
Yet,
My faith remained unshaken;
Yet,
My love remained unshaken:
One upon
One upon
One
These gifts define
My path beyond
The Apocalyptic Dream Triptych.