That Moment (When Love Finds You)

Moon, Roof, Spa 5 5 2020

Gotcha’, didn’t it?
Just when you thought all men were bastards
All women were petty bitches and c-words
And no one would really care for you

It found you deep within your trauma/self-pity/shame/depression
Buried so deep that your sun never shined there

Blew it all apart and made you so alive
Then every molecule of your night turned to our sun
Flowing through all those dead parts
From walking dead to walking love

Now we know that love is all that is
Everything seen through that rose lens
Forever tomorrows never ending
Happily so far beyond ever after

 

Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Moon, Roof, Spa (April, 2020)

Hero (No More)

Sunset 5 1 2020

So much wanting all the right words
Knowing the right times to say them
Being The Teacher
The Father
The Guru

Knowing how to cheer the discouraged
Heal the wounded
Love the unloved

So badly I wanting
To be and never not to be
Everything to anyone
Being or feeling less than
Who I saw
Who I felt
In their possible futures
Traumatic pasts
And turbulent here and nows

Fool was I
Casting myself supine before them
Like pearls tossed before swine
So they may crush me with thick teeth
And betray me for ego’s ego sake

Fuck (oh, fuck)
Longing to make their hells
Into heavens
To turn their tears
Into rainbows
Fuck (oh, fuck me now)
So needing praise and admiration I
Instead of love I needed

Hero no more…

Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: The Hero Finds A Sunrise (April, 2020)

Time, R. I. P.

Hot Tub 4 29 30

I’ve been to that quiet place where time died
It crossing so suddenly over
Slipping through my fingers and my soul
Before the blackbird’s song ended

Knew its taste I did
Its passion stirring within me
So much I wanted to own it
Deep within my breast
And make it my new heart
Of endless sunny days
And forever paused sunsets
Such bookends to that wonderful feeling
Of falling so deeply in love

These days are the thousands
Such fires burning, carried deep within
Even as roses I cast upon time’s grave
Crossing so suddenly over
From red to black to dust

Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Hot Tub After Sunset (April, 2020)

Black Mirror

Black Mirror 4 28 2020

You show me
More
When only my energy
Flows
Through you

Black Mirror
I see
What others can’t show
I hear
What others can’t speak
I feel
What others can’t touch

Breath in
Breath out
People are just people
Living
Fallacies way away
From
Me and mine

But I can
Will
Explore them
And
Not mistake them
As
Mine

Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Self-Portrait (April, 2020)

will u b my4ever blue sky

will u b my 4ever blue sky
of endless possibilities
punctuated by wispy clouds
of transient doubt
?

will u hear w/me
ghosts crying nightly
mere memories
not prophesies
?

as 2being1
will u speak truths
only us2 will hear
in our souls
?

will u come& go
with me
neither leader
nor follower
?

will u blossom
as i bloom
wither
as i falter
?

will u b my4ever
sun
my4ever
moon
my4ever
stars
?

“yes,” we said
the Word
resonating
in our4ever
soul
.

copyright, 2020: all rights reserved

photo: my4ever blue sky (January, 2020)

living@102fps


steel shiny
rubber rolling
windshield worlds
click, click, click
of my smartphone
driving@102fps

hotel suites
staff know my name
packed lunches dinners
complimentary breakfasts

then suit-up time
buttoned-down or t-shirted
(superman had his cape: ive got my blazer) and jeans
this psychologist’s uniform

preparing to understand
kids yelling punching soiling @102fps
parents struggling denying
enabling offending

another deep deep plunge
back into the infinite flow
of young faces hiding
tortured souls and secrets
finding dna of their pain

“abused”
“neglected”
“in placement”
“rights terminated”
are never just words
bandied about

so many violated kids
i gotta gotta know
102 feet per second
day in
day out
barely keeping up

“depraved”
“heartbreaking”
“tragic”
all those realities apply

lived their prisons
felt their rages
knew their numbness
storms before my calm
lived decades before
lived lives ago
lived PTSD life
always fighting
always dying
rising up again
until no1Left2fight
but me

being part of their journeys
starting their evolutions
of making mountains into
pebbles on their paths
helping them find miracles

when the evals all done
it’s never barely mentioned
each a stranger again

afterwards i
slip off the sport coat
slip into the car
meditate and
send out healing
as i heal@102fps

copyright 2020: all rights reserved

photo: untitled windshield landscape (Trout Run, PA)

Outlaw Truth

words that cut
sharpened by truth
turn no deaf ears
in this morning’s light

warned by The Universe
to give us this day
its Daily Bread
i shall go armed
only with insight
carried on wings
of outlaw truth

singleness of purpose
battling injustices
profound and profane
under building storm clouds

copyright 2020: all rights reserved

photo: Morning Reading. (January, 2020)

Pencil in a Spa

planes that fly away from me
as the sun leaves my sky
dont know what i want to be
when i finally grow up

who was it who made me
one day at a time
back in the good old days
before my nights had eyes

im not sure i know me
as well as i know you
theres too much
i dont want to see
how my mirrors need cleaning

someday i’ll be all gone
vacant from my body envelope
just floating on the ether
waiting for time to end

’til then i’ll just float
like a pencil in a spa
waiting for my next words

copyright 2020: all rights reserved

photo: Pencil in a Spa (Lewisburg, 2020)

didKnot feel like dyin2day

snow turned winter brown2white
muffled sounds of goodyears ‘gainst pavement
as i sped along backroads
fetch erranding LoverWife’s parcel

didKnot feel like dyin2day
instead found a song
4 inspiration 2 write
another feature screenplay
&
wrote a poem ’bout pTsD
watched TV and a film
with LW

five weeks until Sedona
flying A321@PHL2PHX
smiles (of course)
who cant be happy
@30k ft (tell me, tell me)

2easy2ache4others pain
no: bSelfish2day
had2holdMEtight in life’s embrace
so much life2day
so much beauty2day

hell around isKnotting others
fingertrap and gordian
tying us all down
when 4getting
we doKnot feel
like dyinInside2day

live2love2unravelKnots
peaceB2U
loveB2U
slipKnots
&UBfree

copyright 2020: all rights reserved
photo: squallB4passing (January 2020)

2bRnot2b(led)

a big smile
a warm handshake
rapidly becoming an embrace
decorated by insight-laden words sprinkled with the latest catch phrases
i know i am loved

in the name of healing,
of growth and the holy spiritual journey
He sprinkles reassurance and warmth

2bLedSoCool

He feels like He’s giving so
He’s actually taking self-confidence and my soul

a self-proclaimed leader
he is a destroyer
consuming all he touches
behind his deceptive smile
while masterfully playing games with followers’ vulnerabilities

liar, philanderer, manipulator, ego-maniac
see the Naked Narcissist
dancing on the broken souls
who once believed in him

watch him now gorging on new converts, their blood dripping from his broken teeth and broad smile
his feeding frenzy ballooning his ego, his waist and his wallet

see his mouth full of feces
his soul crawling with maggots

i do not need his love
his wisdom or the hell
he brings in the name of
his festering wounds

i walk away from his stench,
his empty words and pathetic facade
tired of his hoaxes

2bRnot2b(led)
choose wisely
know ur leaders
know ur deceivers
know urself
or die1000deaths

copyright 2020: all rights reserved

photo: blurrrr (January 2020)