The School Bus Ride

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Lifetimes ago, school bus children
Chanted, “We hate the Highams,”
And I watched the driver drive his bus as if none
Of it mattered because those were only words
Don’t you know?

Like a weed that burst forth from fear
Fertilized by my family being different
In a land of assumed homogeneity,
We undoubtedly earned the right to be hated
And this hatred to be made part of our bus ride
Back and forth to school each day
Its own daily lesson in humility and restraint.

And, the driver drove, saying goodnight and smiling
At every stop; even ours, because he was so kind.

Did the kids know how we prepared for their attack
On our home in the woods?
Did they know how I trained my brothers
And ran our house like a military camp
For what my psychotic mother and I
Knew would be their final violation?

I doubt it. After all, they were merely teasing
Pleased with the reactions they were evoking
And how each of the six of us dealt differently
With their incessant barrage. They watched TV
In their homes each day and never mentioned
Their ride, I’d guess.

These little children and their foul little mouths
Taught me the gift of stillness, the gift of awareness
In the here and now. Those lessons lasted only as long
As the bus ride home, then the hell they had sent to us
Erupted in the home once the bus had left.

We watched TV in our home and fought with punches
And kicks, slamming doors and breaking walls.
A child hated easily finds enemies, even among family,
Because such a child wants peace and harmony
And love that flows as naturally as each breath but feels
Instead too alien in the world that now drags him down.

Therapy, meditation, and living in the here and now
Transformed such trauma into numerous evolutions
Still evolving in so many directions: I do not recognize
That angry self-hating child I was on the bus ride.

But still, I must ask: Are we on another school bus ride?
Have the schoolchildren become adults?
Has the teasing turned into denunciations and accusations
Fertilized by mutual disrespect and intolerance
Coupled with an unwillingness to communicate?

And, will this driver stop and hold us accountable
Or, will he merely drive to his destination?
Can we who are denouncing and accusing instead
Silence ourselves and remember that we are
All riding the same school bus? Can we share the love
We have for ourselves with people who live differently?

If not, it doesn’t matter who drives the school bus for soon
We will all be hateful little children fighting each other
Instead of investing our energies into our shared destiny.

© 2017 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Eagle and Strength (Sedona, October 2016)

When the Sunrise Finds You (Ode to MLK)

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When the sunrise finds you
And the new day’s promises fill your soul
With joy and eager expectation of abundance
Will you allow it to flow through you
And touch everyone on your path
Or will you instead keep it just for yourself
And those you alone deem worthy?

When crops sprout from the earth
In a celebration of growth and the abundant harvest
Will you feed not only those at your table
But also though who can’t find a place at the feast
And must subsist on those scraps you’ve dropped?

When you discover the warmth of love and tenderness
Knowing and surrendering to your lover’s touch and embracing
The world as only beautiful moments and possibilities
Will you endeavor to create and support this for everyone
Or only those who look, act, and love like you?

When you know your strength and it blossoms your hope
Will you use it to help others who do not know hope
Or will you instead enslave it and make good coin
As you distance yourself from the misery you now created?

When evil comes in the form of hatred and threatens all you are
Will you protect only yourself by running and hiding, sheltering
Yourself in dogma and fear instead of becoming a lifeboat
That others may embrace to know the safety that you’ve always had?

When the sunrise finds you
Will you share your sunrises
Will you share your feasts
Will you share your love
Will you share your strength
Will you share your safety
And spread this sunrise all across this land?

© 2017 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: MLK Sunrise (Windfall, 1/16/17)