Tougher (60yrsb20yrs)

comin’ up fast don’t fuck with me
twenty years older than dad ever got 2b
doc says my blood looks fuckin’ good
livers living good
bloods pumpin’ good

got nothin’ 2bitch about
no tears 2cry
someday in 40yrs i’m gonna die
’till then just get outta my way
’cause nothing you do is gonna
stop, stop, stop me

im tougher at 60 shit
than ive ever been
been fucked with
fucked over
and still standing and strutting
not being knocked down
so fuck you, you, and you
for thinking im gonna stop
or even take a dive
to make you feel good

still kicking, alive, screaming
bloody murder and never
gonna give up my path
’cause im tougher now
than i ever ever have been
’cause 60 is gonna b my 20
more is comin’
just you watch
just started growin’
watch your back
watch your ass
im havent even started
with you yet

copyright 2020: all rights reserved

photo: 1cufflink 3wedding bands 1set of ivories (Herdic Inn, 2020)

four-1 (yrs) on no1 2tell

stories told
days left empty

four-1 (yrs) on no 1 2tell
re: battles fought
victories claimed

success i 8
shoveled on my dish
w/o rhymes or metre
2 make cents
out of nonsense

all that flow, flow, flowing
throws me out of kilter
words splinter my soul
visions unknown

seeing all i believe
believing all i see
me 2 believe in me

so mean rt now
full of btw
thrown like darts
missing bulleyes
missing battles

losing lost (again)
finding new challenges
living new stories
told in
four-1 (yrs)
2 no1

copyright 2019: all rights reserved

photo: Rt 549: 41 Yrs on. (Mill Creek, 12/19)

Stillness Now

stillness in the form
of the hawk circling
above aging headstones
and my timeless love

warm sun embraces
the tops of my bare feet
and the grass–their grass
tickles my toes and soles

i am here now with them
meditating at their resting places
breathing with none
of the urgency–of the fear
they had so freely given me
when they walked Earth

the sun drifts lower
as evergreens and the hawk
protect me and my breath

yet i feel safer with Mom and Dad
hearing them speak
directing me to tell
my brother how much they love him
sharing that greatness
is headed my way
confident that my ex
will do well in her new life

hawk, trees, sun
all breathing with
my bare feet resting
in the warm cozy grass

literally grounded right now
i re-affirm my pledge
to not get wrapped up in doing
and instead endeavor
to embrace being

stillness now
forever now

I Am Here

I Am Here 8 26 17

I am here
Alive and ready for this path
No matter the joys the pains or how often
My feet may pause or my tongue may become still
Though my eyes may not appear to see
All going on around me on my path
And my ears my not seem to hear the laughter the crying
And my hands may not move to heal pain to defeat evil

I am here Smelling the trees as they quietly grow season to season
And looking over the grasses and the flowers and the skies
And sending joy out to all who look upon such scenes
With their eyes with their imaginations with their memories
As they seek refuge in their darkest night or to make their noon brighter

Together, we grow our strength ever beyond strong
Fed by hope and love even as whirlwinds uproot lives all around us
And give rise to fears from hellish pasts or intimidating futures

In the stillness of our souls as the power of The Universe
Cleanses our every cell, flowing through us replenishing us
No matter how far apart we are measured by mere miles mere lifetimes
As we remain eternally joined through our souls

We are here
Alive and ready for our intertwined paths
As The Universe’s DNA
 

© Copyright 2017 by John David Higham. All rights reserved.

Photo: Meditation Landscape (Lewisburg, August 26, 2017)

Victory

Lillian 8 19 2017 Chimney Rock 1st

My battle won marked by the calm of surrender
No celebratory words or songs did I shout
As the oppressive miraculously became inconsequential
Layers of pain melted away and flowed like dirtied waters
Off my skin
Off my soul
And became forever purified
At these moments of ascendancy
When bells were to ring in celebration
And my soul would discover the highest mountaintops
On which to spread my new-found and infinite bliss
Would make my once dreary world
Would make my once dreary soul
Dance with a child’s delight

Victory
Sweet sweet victory
How I had waited with all my endless hope
All my rabid persistence and obsessive planning
To even see any sign of you emerging from life’s hellish fog

Victory
You had intermittently exposed yourself
Before desperation and despair had obscured you from my sight
To prevent you once again from accompanying me
So many conditions everyone everything told me
I would have to meet
I would have to know
I would have to be
Before
Before
Before
I could have a fleeting moment
Of hearing your voice
Of even feeling worthy
Of your briefest whisper
Of your encouraging word
Before evil and despair
Resumed their suffocating siege

Victory, now that you have made yourself
So clearly my eternal companion
And all evil has been
Defeated
Chased
Transmuted
Transcended
Annihilated
Re-framed
Forever condemned
From its perches in my waking world
And its numerous thrones in my dream world
Where its myriad grotesqueness stared me in my every face
In all the lives I lived was living and planned on living
To now merely squishing under my feet like warmed moist beach sand
I am lost, lost, lost
In a land of sunsets and pleasant surprises
Tranquility and love

What becomes of this warrior
When all my battles have been won?
When I have calmed my roughest of storms?
When I have transformed my deepest of fears into karmic punchlines
And my loving adventures have
Exterminated my fears and hyper-vigilance?

This redemption I do not know
For so long the weapons of war
I have held in my hands
In my soul
That my not grasping them feels odd
And renders me naked, vulnerable
And not nude, innocent
As Victory embraces me

Victory, how odd your warmth feels
Against my skin
Against my soul
In our forever embrace

© Copyright 2017 by John David Higham. All rights reserved.

Photo: Lillian’s First (Sedona: Chimney Rock Trail Looking North: August 19, 2017)

Fumes

What I run on
What you do not know
What fuels me with a passion
Others can only envy
Is knowing just how far beyond
Empty I am running running running

See that snow upon the land
That cloaks the earth in a dead whiteness
My soul knows it as rolling greens
And lush fields that will always provide
If I continue to allow myself to believe and be
In the spirit flowing through my soul my veins

Overdrawn bank accounts and maxed-out credit cards
And empty cupboards and empty gas tanks are no obstacles
When looking with more than the eyes
Speaking with more than the lips
Doing with more than the body
And living with more than the life

What I run on is amused by all things empty
Empty fears promoted by marketers fear mongers
So-called leaders of our land who live in shadows
Created and poured into towers of what-if-
fuming-combustibles-lacking-only-a-spark-explode-
worse-case-scenarios and who pull the strings
Of frantic marionettes thrashing around me

This puppets strings forever snapped
Connected to the power within this moment
Of unstable combustible fumes becoming
Cleansed air flowing in flowing out
With my every meditative breath

Can you hear the butterfly sing
In harmony with the air flowing
Over its translucent wings?

© 2017 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Butterfly (Windfall, PA: 2016)

When I Am the Rainbow

IMG_7115

When I am the rainbow
And the colors are mine,
And my colorblindness means nothing,
And my failure
And my achievements
Mean nothing.

When I am the multiple light rays
Moving united across the universe,
Showing its spectrum
For all to know,
For all to see,
For all to pause.

When I am more
Than my body,
When I am more
Than my debts,
When I am more
Than my anxieties,
When I am more
Than my definitions:
Then my soul is again vibrant.

See how this
Glistening ray of color
Bursts from my third eye
Across the sky
Behind the thunderous storms
Above it,
Above the churning waters
Beneath it,
Beneath the heavens
Blessing this union of sun and water.

Find this union, this rainbow
Within you
And live its colors
As they line your path,
As they enliven your journey,
As they enlighten your soul.

You are then the rainbow…

 

© Copyright 2016 by John David Higham

Photo: Being the Rainbow (Niagara Falls, May 2016)

 

 

Can You Accept Your Gifts (You Are, You Are…)

 

IMG_4312

 

When you know
The soul of a stranger
Just by looking at her photo,
Or taste bloody glass
An hour before
Coming upon an accident,
Can you look at yourself
With an eye so honest,
With an eye so otherworldly
That you know
Not only who you are,
But exactly what you are?

When you know
The cold feel
Of death
In the eyes of the child living
And it comes to pass
Despite what you want,
Despite what you beg
And what silence you harbored
Because you were directed
To not speak,
To not warn.

When you know
By looking at the face
Of a distant classmate’s daughter
That she is not being
Called to cross over
And you write those words
With all conviction
And without
Any doubt
And don’t need “proof”
Or to say, “I told you so”
Because you know
Those were not your words,
Those were not your thoughts.

When you know
The carnal joys a couple has
Miles away
And your body responds
As if it is your joy
And you can hear their passion
And feel their hands
Upon your flesh
And know the joys
And know the passion
And know the hands
Are not yours.

And your mind
Is racing with all your terror,
Is racing with all your fear
Of being judged,
Of being diagnosed
But you know
That these connections
Are not of your making,
But are only of your path
And people say that you are different
And that you creep them out
And that you are crazy
But it’s all flowing in
So rapidly (So slowly)
You must take notice (You question it)
Then at best you just
Surrender to it
And trust that it will
All be sorted out
By forces
So much greater than you,
So much greater than you.

You are, you are
Like me
Way beyond this world
Way beyond this place
As your sensitivity
Makes you stronger
(Than the pain you feel ripping
Through your soul by knowing
All that you know)
That is not yours
And the joy that simultaneously vibrates
Inside your soul like singing bowl.

You are, you are
Going where you need to be
Away from all this
A part of all this
Listening to voices
That don’t need to speak,
Poetry that calls itself life,
Love that is way beyond romantic.

“Magical thinking,”
“Manifesting,”
“Glowing”
Is all the same to me
The future is the past is the now
As I listen to what
I am told
And laugh aloud at my silly fears
Because they are all connected
To this mundane waking world
Of mine.

You are, you are
Hearing others listen
Feeling other’s emotions
Knowing other’s futures
In your infinite heres and nows.

We who see,
We who know
(You are,
You are …)
Such things; we
Are not the damned
Are not the wise;
We are just
Visiting
Inside our bodies
Inside our lives
On spiritual vacation.

Can you
Accept your gifts?
Can you
Be these gifts
And
Not be corrupted,
Not be compromised,
Not be confused
Or whine like a puppy
Even as you sob
At all that you know
And are directed to accept?

You are,
You are…

Power and strength
Comes
From knowing,
Comes
From being,
Comes
From The Universe
Flowing
Through me via
The
Senses
Into
My soul
Connected
As I am to the Earth,
Connected
As I am to the seas,
Connected
As I am to the sky,
Connected
As I am to you.
We are just
Pipes through which
The Great Spirit flows;
You are,
You are…

 

© copyright 2016 John David Higham

 

Photo: Reflections  (DFW People Mover: February, 2016)

You Who Questions (I Who Learns)

September 26 2015 111

In the deepest part of the night
When silence replaced commotion
And the cries of suffering souls
Were more easily discerned,
My path intersected with yours;
Our words becoming interwoven
On the electronic page.

You who questions
In a half-sorta-kinda way
(Was it sarcasm dripping:
I’m still not sure)
Like a lightning bolt that
Flashed deep into my soul
To that faraway place
Of transcended yesterdays.

There,
I had fought my way
With submission and suicidal self-loathing
Out of school buses ruled by bullies
And into those governed by men
Who sought to take that which no one gives
And repulsed those beasts with such rage
That they rightly feared for their lives.

I, who have seen childhood nights
Blossom into hells created by psychosis
And rage by those who parented me,
Learned to know me
Learned to know waking and dream worlds
As safe and loving
And learned to challenge evil
At its every turn on my path.

Imperfect, I
Shattered windows, walls,
Windshields, and hearts
During my clumsy evolution;
Those painful episodes
And subsequent amends
Now distant mileposts,
But always significant lessons.

Yes, your words
I gave immense power
To take me to such places,
To recall being so hurt,
So sensitive that my only safety
Was so far deep inside my writing
That nothing and no one could harm
That nothing and no one could enter.

Too,
My words and wit
Once won me many a fight
(Or, misunderstandings that
Evolved into silly battles of egos)
That served only to bloody the souls
Of all involved.

Those, too, are of my past.
I will not hide my faith,
I will not rage on you or me,
I will not dig deep into you
And subject to ridicule
Your motivation,
Your being,
Your pain,
Your path.

Instead,
I who learns,
I who meditates,
I who listens to The Angels,
I who knows my path
And respects you on yours;
I send in The Angels
And embrace gratitude
Because I can turn my cheek.

 

© copyright 2016 John David Higham

The Gift (One Year’s Poems)

PHL to SETAC to Sedona 3 20 16 926

With love
I have given
You, Dear Reader,
Glimpses into my soul;
Perhaps even
Glimpses into yours.
In these poems
I have celebrated
The joys of my path,
The trials of my being,
The depth of my spiritual love,
The evil I have evolved beyond.

What adventures
I have revealed
And
You have known
In these letters growing into words
Into lines into stanzas into poems.

Know, Dear Reader,
That these creations
Flow from The Universe
Though me
Onto to the page
Through you.

Thank you
For your eyes,
Thank you
For your words,
Thank you
For this connection
Via these letters, words, lines, and poems
Between the you and the me
In the waking and dream worlds
On our separate journeys.

Thank you
For the gift
That comes with
This poet having been read,
His poetry having been ingested,
His life having evolved into spiritual art.

I wish for you
The Angels
And the bliss,
And the abundance,
And the strength,
And the wisdom
That they bring.

Namaste.

 

© copyright 2016 John David Higham

Last March, Kathy helped me launch my blog, Empathetic Perspective. It has been a wonderful and crazy year in both my waking and dream worlds, it having been characterized by bliss, abundance, and miracles. To celebrate this part of my path, I was recently directed during a meditation session to give the gift of a brief individualized reading to each person following my blog. If you are following it and are interested in receiving this gift, please email me at johndavidhigham@gmail.com for details.

Thank you.