This Me

IMG-1871-1 A Storm Builds (Sedona, December 27 2018)

I want to again hear my name called out
From the depths of Hell
To be again summoned to fights demons
I want to again smell their deaths

I want to again cry tears of blood
And feel lightening tearing through my viscera
As it renders me a charred heap

I want to again feel the sound of bones cracking
As steel stone and fist peel my flesh away
Tearing apart my organs

I want to again stand naked in the blizzard
And watch my skin turn purple and black
Against the white-out enveloping me

I want to again hear my throat scream words
No one else hears in the hell that consumes and decimates
As I am again crushed in humiliating defeat
And reduced to grains of sand blown
By the winds
That had once been confined deep within this me

I want to again rage up against the ferocious storms
That flood the valleys and level the mountains
And gives desperation and despair new meaning
Dismembering me as I fight will all my fury
To stop the tidal waves and rebuild the mountains

Soon I will go into that evil night
With sword and wits sharpened
Ready to spill blood and sip wine
In the name of love and self-loathing
Of never feeling good enough for this or that
Until after being put beyond the harshest test
And again emerging miraculously intact

How I await the darkness to wage incessant war
On all my remaining haunting fears
Each moment my serenity my rage building
Forging additional weapons for deployment
As my evolution continues

Copyright © 2018 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Into The Storm (Sedona, 2018)

I Don’t Know You (But I Believe in You)

PHL to SETAC to Sedona 3 20 16 413 FInal

I don’t know you
But I believe in you
Not because I’m being flirty
Or because I want you to like me;
My faith in you arises from seeing the you
That you can’t or won’t allow yourself to see.
That you can’t or won’t allow yourself to embrace:
I sense your greater self in your words, your gestures, your eyes
And know that soon you will look in your soul’s mirror.

I don’t know the details of your pain
But I know that you will heal
Not because I can’t deal with your trauma
Or because I am an incurable optimist;
My faith in you comes directly from the you
That has healed so far beyond others who have succumbed
To pains so much lesser than what you have sojourned through.

I don’t know your face
But I know that it will soon own a smile
Not because I want you to be fake or insincere;
My faith in you comes from sensing your child-like innocence and hope
That is alive and vibrant at the innermost core of your soul.

I don’t know your fears
But I know you will render them useless
Not because I have an agenda for you;
My faith in you comes from knowing you through your vibration
And seeing The Angels all around you waiting to give you bliss.

I don’t know your hopes
But I know you will realize them
Not because I dismiss your obstacles;
My faith in you comes from knowing the you
That can survive and thrive and become
Even more open to manifesting miracles.

I don’t know how to teach you
But I know that you will continue to learn
Not because I am bored or uninspired by you;
My faith in you comes from sensing in you
That your wisest teacher is in your mirror
And that your brightest pupil is in your shoes.

© copyright 2016 John David Higham: All Rights Reserved

Photo: Reflections (Poulsbo, WA: 3/16)

A Day of Love Yourself Begins

March 2015 Windfall Sky

 

A day of love yourself
Begins with being gently released
By the dream world’s hands
Into
The view of the sunrise,
The noise of the mind,
The realities of the waking world.

Pause now.
Allow yourself
To revisit those sensations
That embraced you
In the dream world:
The views of the dreamscape,
The sounds in that world.,
The realities of your dream world.

In those moments
Allow yourself to feel
As your dream self felt,
And say aloud those words
That might flow through you,
No matter how silly they sound
As they will form a dream mantra.

This is how you love yourself,
This is how you find your dream self:
Do not try to reason,
Do not be sucked into the
Ego trap of figuring things out:
Go beyond the seductive logic
Into the experiential,
Into the dream moment,
Into your dream being
And just feel.

Accept the truth of knowing
That which feels foreign
May not be yours,
May not be the present,
May not be the past,
May not be the future
But it is most certainly real.

Ah, a day of love yourself begins…

 

© copyright 2016 John David Higham

Photo: Windfall Spring Sky  (March, 2015)

 

 

 

Can You Receive Your Gifts?

September 26 2015 113

 

In the morning
When your fears wake you,
Can you instead
Hear the sunrise
Call your name?
Can you listen to the morning birds
And know their song
Is your song too?

Can you see
Your gifts all around you
Before the mundane
World throws obstacles
In your path?

Can you see
The tree and know
How you
Are that tree,
Strong and proud,
Connecting to both
Ground and sky?

Can you see
The wind and know
That you are moving
As it is moving,
The both of you
Gliding over,
Gliding around obstacles?

Can you see
The deer and know
That you are gentle,
That you can be gentle
To yourself and
STOP
Polluting your moments
With worry,
Polluting your moments
With fear?

Can you see
The grass growing
On the hillside
And know that
Such simple beauty
Is your beauty
In both
The here and now
And
For an eternity?

Can you touch
Your heart
And send yourself
Love and comfort
The way you
Would a hurt child?

Can you receive the gifts
You are being given;
Can you know your gifts?

Accept your gifts
For even the simplest one
Is a great blessing
And will help you
See The Angels.

Namaste.

 

© copyright 2016 John David Higham