Do Not Mourn the Day Lost

This Day Passing (Skyline Drive, Williamsport)
Do not
Mourn the day lost
Or empty moments
Overrun by day dreaming
For they will yield to abundance
 
Do not
Hold the shame
Others have gifted
But return in kind
 
Do not
Fear a solitary path
For none are truly alone                                                               
 
Do not
Fear your darkness
Your failures or your pain
For everyone lives with these
 
Do not
Keep the company
Of fools unless
You need to be one
 
Do not
Profess to know
As you endeavor to learn
 
And always ask your
Self, “What is my role?”
And follow the answer
No matter where that leads
 
 
Copyright © 2020 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
 
 
  

Personal Brand Aide (#2#)

lands burning
drones bombing
airliners shot down
politicians manuevering

never mind
its my selfie parade!
look at me
im just so wonderful
with all these things
surrounding me

im a blue screen idol
your personal brand aide
helping you work through
life’s annoying realities
because in my posts
there’s no war or hate or pain
just me, me, me
showing off to you

influencer me
im just so cool
im just so real
living #2#
living 2go viral

see me
click on me
like me
follow me

be me now
if just for one instant
make my illusion
yours all yours
touch my image
feel your soul evolve

let me be your drug
with a wonderfulness
you can only peek in on
so sorry it sucks 2BU
come drink my Kool-aide
and build your dreams
all around my drama

be happy 4ever
4get those fires
exploding drones
political airliners
or whatever

#4me
#4u
#4everyone

copyright 2020: all rights reserved

photo: PHX approach (December 2019)

Tougher (60yrsb20yrs)

comin’ up fast don’t fuck with me
twenty years older than dad ever got 2b
doc says my blood looks fuckin’ good
livers living good
bloods pumpin’ good

got nothin’ 2bitch about
no tears 2cry
someday in 40yrs i’m gonna die
’till then just get outta my way
’cause nothing you do is gonna
stop, stop, stop me

im tougher at 60 shit
than ive ever been
been fucked with
fucked over
and still standing and strutting
not being knocked down
so fuck you, you, and you
for thinking im gonna stop
or even take a dive
to make you feel good

still kicking, alive, screaming
bloody murder and never
gonna give up my path
’cause im tougher now
than i ever ever have been
’cause 60 is gonna b my 20
more is comin’
just you watch
just started growin’
watch your back
watch your ass
im havent even started
with you yet

copyright 2020: all rights reserved

photo: 1cufflink 3wedding bands 1set of ivories (Herdic Inn, 2020)

LuvB2URoad

January 11 2016 PHX PHL WFL 673 Modfied

Miles to go before I can pause
My companion the road holds me safely in its embrace
Asphalt lover unwinding beneath my tires
How I love to be grounded and rolling

LuvB2URoad
Where all is possible in your flowing lanes
Where adventure and possibility are waiting
Where miles evaporate in Mindfulness Meditation
And my muses dance on the pavement
Rubber, creativity, and road are the happy trio
As I grab my voice recorder and take another note

My mind dances so freely between those lines
That make up each lane
I feel it speeding so rapidly no matter
The limits imposed by signs I whiz by or drift past
Ensconced in my moving pod
I playing songs over and over again
As thoughts, images, and lines of dialogue
Burst forth and make their way to my lips
And digital recorder

Transient car and truck cities moving inspire me
As we jockey for position
Swearing laughing and smiling at each other
Though the professionals pay us no mind
For them the road is a thirty-thousand pound office

At times, a million miles left is a welcome break
At others, one mile seems more like swatch of asphalt
Stretching infinitely painfully beyond breaking
Over so many damned hills and equally as damned valleys
Never surrendering a hint as to its hoped-for end
At those times, it is a vapid creative purgatory
Limbo untouched by favorite songs or phone calls

LuvB2URoad as you simultaneously take me
Away from and lead me to wonderful worlds
Corporeal, imagined, and metaphysical
My journey limited only by the gas in my tank

Going, going, going
Flowing, flowing, flowing
While fully swaddled
In my rolling meditation temple

 

Copyright (c) 2019.  All rights reserved.
Photo: Infinity’s Road (Lehigh Tunnel, 2015)

 

Stillness Now

stillness in the form
of the hawk circling
above aging headstones
and my timeless love

warm sun embraces
the tops of my bare feet
and the grass–their grass
tickles my toes and soles

i am here now with them
meditating at their resting places
breathing with none
of the urgency–of the fear
they had so freely given me
when they walked Earth

the sun drifts lower
as evergreens and the hawk
protect me and my breath

yet i feel safer with Mom and Dad
hearing them speak
directing me to tell
my brother how much they love him
sharing that greatness
is headed my way
confident that my ex
will do well in her new life

hawk, trees, sun
all breathing with
my bare feet resting
in the warm cozy grass

literally grounded right now
i re-affirm my pledge
to not get wrapped up in doing
and instead endeavor
to embrace being

stillness now
forever now

Influencer

look, look, look
Me, Me, Me

here and there
with this and that
each selfie spiritual

always up
always hashtagged
always posing
always poised

BUY, BUY, BUY
such a thrill

cloaked in prosperity
escape with me
checkmark, heart, smiley
emoticons ate emotions

emotionally so intelligent
being so mindful
feels so really
Me, Me, Me

Copyright 2019, All Rights Reserved

Photo: Limo2PHL2LAX (Philadelphia, July 2019)

Sister’s Voice (Heal)

January 11 2016 PHX PHL WFL 673 Modfied

The night that brought me sister’s voice
Was dead quiet and still as those
Midnights when Mom made her terror all mine
Over four decades and two dozen lives ago

Sister’s voice was also as quiet and still
As she talked about fear and death and failure
Just as Mom had when calmly referencing hitmen and demons
Though instead of sitting on my bed in Fassett
Her voice was thousands of miles away

Prayers and love and concern sent with all my might
Could not erase that fear from her voice
Any more than my aggression and abuse could
Calm Mom’s rising fears and pervasive terror
All those years ago

Sister, sister where have you gone
Why are you back in the hell we once knew
I couldn’t protect you then and I can’t protect you now
From the you running deeper into your darkest head

The growing split that tore her from reality
Made perfect terrifying sense to her
Just as mine did 41 years ago
When I knew in fear Tony would kill me
If he only had the chance

When I heard her voice over the phone
2018
Did not become
1997
Did not become
1973
Because I no longer am just an orphaned son
Made into the Man of The House
Burning down all around my family
Because I am stronger now
In feeling and being loved
Because I know
About hormones PTSD
Medications TIAs CVAs
Such letters and words
Part of my cells’ memory
Angels told me Sister would emerge
They spoke of turbulence
This warrior I am now summoned
The Universe to help her heal
Quieting those voices that became her fears
As wisdom slowly seeped onto her path
I did as I was told and advised from afar

Sending in Angels
Speaking in Tongues with spirits
Conversing in jargon with siblings nurses
Prayers, chants, lessons, consults
All the time knowing her voice
Would soon heal and return

Sister sister heal now through love
Wisdom flowing through me to you
Across our thousands’ miles
Strengthening your Inner Voice
As I sit alone and meditate
Unlike when I was a child
And could only hear
Hell’s voice inside Mom’s head

 

 

Copyright © 2018 by John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: Infinity (Lehigh Tunnel)

When Visions Come

September 26 2015 111

When visions come
All these things
I see I hear I taste I smell I feel
That you and you and you
Cannot will not ever want to
Come flowing through my consciousness
Coursing like water through a pipe
Creating endless curiosities
In my silly logical mind

These visions are not me not mine
Not you not yours
But are briefly of me of mine
Of us of them of everyone
As they cross my awareness
In dreams in waking slumber

Death love pain bliss success failure
All woven into a cosmic blanket
Draped over my naked soul
I am nobody I am everybody just then
I am that vision that scene that place
So torn away from my corporeal self
Wandering Earth a lost and found spirit
Until it drifts away to memory
Until it becomes manifest
In the now in the then in the later

You must warn them
The fearful say
Saving the innocent
And defeating the demons

You must use them
The ambitious say
Taking all that is yours
And manifesting your destiny

You must disown them
The religious say
For knowing such things is evil
And you must please God

You must stop them
The doctors preach
For having visions is crazy
And require me be treated

No mortal not even I
Know my role my sanity
Even after visions come
Am I cold to the victims’ blood
For listening to The Angels
Who speak from beyond religion
Who speak from beyond morals
Who speak from beyond reason
Who speak to enlighten me

No Devil No God
I have looked into both eyes
And felt their touches
In my spirit in my life

I am
My path my future my past
A thousand times each moment
Knowing what is mine
Knowing what is yours
The visions make them ours
For an eternal moment

Knowing being doing
Are the eternal problems
Grounding grounding grounding
Meditating meditating meditating
Fasting fasting fasting
Are the eternal solutions
When visions come

 

Copyright © 2018 John David Higham: All Rights Reserved
Photo: The Solitary Tree (Windfall: September 2015)

Dreams August 28 Night

Raffery Bedroom Ceiling August 2016

Dream two:
I am shitting
On the toilet
In the office
During the meeting

I am self-conscious
Though everyone shits
On the toilet
In the office
During the meeting

A lace tablecloth
Covers my lap
So delicate
So white
As my colleagues
Take notes
And speak of projections
Revenue streams
Writing notes

I shit self-consciously
No one gives me notice
It’s my first time shitting
On the toilet
In the office
During the meeting.

Dream one:
I am driving an 80’s Caddy
At winter’s night
From the passenger seat
The driver is half-in, half-out
We know each other well
But we are on snowy roads
And I need his help
To turn on the windshield wipers
I tell him and he obliges
We are both comfortable
With my driving
With his half-in, half-out
In an 80’s Caddy.

© Copyright 2017 by John David Higham. All rights reserved.
Photo: Dreamspace Construction (Lewisburg: September 2017)